What 2025 Taught Me: An author's confession

I decided to launch Dwyer Street Press this summer. Why? Great question. Maybe I thought it would be easy. Maybe I thought it would be fun. Maybe I was infected by that delicious, long summer light that hangs over Southern California (where I live) and fuels me with energy. Maybe I was being totally ignorant.

With that summer fun faded and the overwhelm that comes with both the holiday season and a deeply rooted Seasonal Affective Disorder, I lean toward the 'ignorant' answer more often than not. What was I thinking? What made me think I could cold-launch a publishing imprint and a thriller series simultaneously? What made me think I belong in this space?

Then I remind myself I didn't cold-launch anything. I've been writing for 40 years. I've been running businesses for 20. The writing has been in secret, and the businesses were usually for other people. And as that summer sun likes to whisper to me: sometimes you can do something just because you want to.

So I dove in. Website, DBAs, marketing agencies, ad spend. Sometimes that part is fun. Sometimes that part drains my energy and makes me want to give up. Either way, I'm learning something: something about the industry, something about the creative process, something about myself.

I've learned I still like operating in the shadows like the secret agents and black ops soldiers I pepper throughout The Helix Project. I've yet to show myself on social media because I can't get past the idea that I am not the product; the work is. But I've learned that isn't the world we live in. So perhaps in 2026 I'll finally unredact the cover story and reveal myself.

I've learned that nothing stings like a nasty review or a personal attack on your art. It hits so much differently than a stranger on the street or even a disagreement at the office. Those confrontations are easy, two-sided, and take place on solid ground. A vicious anonymous reader spitting at you through the protection of the screen just feels like a drive-by - a poison pill aimed at ruining you when you can't defend yourself.

On the flipside, I've learned there's nothing like 5-Star reviews gushing over your deep layers, thought-provoking character dimension, and wild plot twists. Your people are out there; you just have to find them, and when you do, that synergy will push you back into the craft.

And I learned that I do belong here. That dark little winter voice likes to whisper comparisons: people with more followers, people with more reviews on Amazon, people with credibility, and I often have to take a breath and shut that whisper up. Followers grow over time through connection and consistency and here I am, showing up for you. Reviews populate as the right readers engage with the content and visibility spreads. And credibility- let's talk about that one.

The Helix Project and its companion series, The McCollister Files, are at their core an espionage series. DoubleHelix is an atmospheric noir with a political thriller spine. It follows Mike Green on a destructive journey of identity and the lies that make up who we are. Meanwhile, The McCollister Files gives us the more sterile, military pedigree of Tony McCollister, a rigidly disciplined officer who will alter the course of Mike's life. They're two sides of the same coin: dark, brooding, addicted & fixed, dependable and groomed. Their stories weave, and as you'll learn in March with the release of Binding Coil: Book Two in the Helix Project, and the second volume of The McCollister Files, once they collide, neither is ever the same.

All of that to say, that when I compare those works to others in the genre (and that's a thing you have to do a lot as a publisher), the authors in this space are all former military, law enforcement, or government workers. They're playing in a space that they've lived and are formally trained in = instant credibility. I do not have that pedigree. 'I don't belong here,' the voice whispers.

But here's the thing. I do. Though I have not served and do not come directly from this world, here's what I do offer. I grew up military adjacent. The men in my family fought in Vietnam, Korea, and World War II. They went on to work in those government agencies and operate in those spaces. I was in the life from a different angle, and when I considered enlistment, that was a hard stop from my father.

So I went to school and studied the world I was convinced not to join: American Literature, books by Tim O'Brien, and poetry by vets, espionage fiction, and military strategy. And because I'm based in Los Angeles, I landed in film. Screenwriting, story structure, and development. I was not formally trained in weapons, assault tactics or tradecraft, but I was formally trained in crafting a narrative. And my favorite narratives put me in the middle of those war-afflicted, duty-bound, and careful operators carrying out shadow ops. So that's what I write. Because I want to.

John F. Kennedy's famous "We Choose To Go to the Moon" speech has a great line: "We choose to go to the moon...and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard." No one ever samples the part of the early speech where he lists "the other things," so it always makes me laugh out of context, but the other things - I think- are everything. Writing, publishing, running a business, keeping a day job, balancing life, shutting up those intrusive whispers that come for us all... And waiting for the summer sun to return with your inspiration.

However you start your New Year, I hope it is warm, happy, healthy and surrounded by things that keep your spirit moving. I'll be walking down The Street keeping my eye out for you.

~JL.